Since realizing that I needed to refocus myself, it also makes sense to go back to the basics. I need to go back to the beginning and start all over. I need to learn and do. Learn and do.
So…it’s back to basics. Back to learning how to eat, and how to train. I am going to take this slow and not introduce something new, i.e. no new diets, new eating fads…whatever. Just eating clean, no junk, no fast food. And no sugar. Which means that I need to go through a sugar detox. Ewww.
So what can I not have:Ben and Jerry’s No white sugar No fake sugar, or sugar substitutes
I already cook with honey and don’t drink soda, or much alcohol but with the Anniversary trip fast approaching I am putting this dramatic change in diet on hold until then. For the next 3 weeks I will make healthy choices, and enjoy my summer and vacation. And enjoy all the hard work that I have already put in.
So I will be taking this time to learn the basics of fueling my body again. I know that I know them, but what I don’t know is how to stick to it. It’s been far too much pressure to put an end date on this journey. I know that now. It ends when it ends. I am no longer going to feel rushed at the thought of a rapidly approaching due date.
And along with this, I think it’s best that I step away from My Fitness Pal logging. I am going crazy trying to log everything that I eat so that I can track every single little calorie. Or beating myself up when I eat something I know has put me over for the day. I end up feeling like a failure when I miss the mark. And I don’t need to feel like that anymore. It’s gotten to the point of obsession and I just do not need that kind of stress in my life. I did the same thing once with Weight Watchers in college and it did not turn out very well. I have every confidence in myself to make the right choices, and fuel my body with the foods that it needs without tracking each and every single calorie. I will however write down what I eat and when as a point of finding areas of weakness that I can work on and improve.
Thankfully my past experiences with eating issues have given me the wisdom to know when to back off. I know that if I were to continue the same pattern of eating and the guilt that goes with it that it would turn into a full-blown problem of a magnitude that I am not sure I am equip to deal with on my own. Wow…as I am writing this I just realized that I am on the verge of a relapse and I just caught myself. Snaps for me!
I know this post and the last are quite introspective, much more so than usual. But I am writing this in hopes that if anyone else is struggling to stay the course I might be of some support, motivation or reassurance that they can do this. You can do this!